


The History I Want

by mamacyno



Category: Timeless (TV 2016), Timeless - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Season 2 Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 07:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14564451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamacyno/pseuds/mamacyno
Summary: Lucy reflects on her last conversation with Wyatt and starts to realize that she may have misjudged just how happy he really is now that Jessica is back.Takes place the day after the final scene in episode 2x07.





	The History I Want

Lucy sat alone in her and Jiya’s room making use of some much-needed alone time to try and process her conversation with Wyatt from the night before. Although she appreciated the sympathetic ear and open door Flynn assured her was always available, Lucy didn’t need (or want) to deaden her brain synapses this time.

As she sat on her cot with back against the wall, she closed her eyes tightly trying to remember and replay every detail of Wyatt’s facial expressions and body language right before he walked away from her. _Where’s a Tumblr gifset when you need it_ , she thought to herself.

There was something about his reaction to when she said her “kicking ass and saving the world” comment that was… unexpected. She knows it was a cheesy attempt to lighten the mood, but she thought she’d get one of his trademark smirks or a half-hearted chuckle. At least that’s what the “old Wyatt” would have done, she thinks. Heck, even this Wyatt who was so seemingly desperate to continue being friends would have acknowledged her goofiness with a smile. Instead, he just seemed… sad, as if he lost his best friend.

Suddenly Lucy opened her eyes and let out a small gasp. She remembered the first time she had seen that look on his face before.

_“Jessica died. It was my fault.”_

Lucy closed her eyes again and leaned back against the cool bunker wall, which now felt eerily familiar to that New Jersey county prison in 1937. The look she saw on Wyatt’s face last night is the same one that would come across his face every time he spoke about Jessica for as long as she’d known him up until one windy moonlit night in 1941.

 _But that makes no sense_ , Lucy thought as she tried to make sense of this discovery. _Jessica’s alive, he should be overjoyed to have the love of his life back. He finally has everything he’s wanted, and yet…_ Lucy realized she couldn’t remember the last time that she saw Wyatt smile – genuinely smile – out of happiness. _Like he did the last time he had his hands on my hips, standing in our own little bubble in a crowded bunker with a look in his eyes that hinted at..._ Lucy silently reproached herself for letting her mind finish that thought, but she couldn’t deny that it was the truth.

Up until that moment, Lucy had convinced herself that Wyatt was suppressing his joyful emotions about his wife’s return to spare her feelings. But then she recalled seeing Wyatt’s almost forced wave goodbye to his wife from her seat in the Lifeboat as she strapped in for their trip to 1919. Wyatt could have easily made a quick trip back down the stairs to say a more heartfelt goodbye safely out of Lucy’s line of sight. As much as she was hurting, she wouldn’t have disparaged him for showing his wife an inkling of affection. After all, the entire team knows the risks of time travel include returning to a changed future where loved ones no longer exist.

The scene she had to witness between the Logans when they returned, however, is one that she wished she could drown out with a half a bottle of vodka. Her only comfort from that uncomfortable situation was that it looked like Wyatt finally got it. He broke off the kiss and quickly ushered Jessica out of the room. He understood that Lucy being supportive of his decision didn’t mean she wanted a front-row seat to witness their happy marriage.

 _Happy_ , Lucy repeated to herself. She almost wished that Wyatt acted happier to have his wife back, not only for his own happiness, but so that she could achieve some sense of closure and reassurance that everyone made the right decisions. Everything is how it was meant to be; how destiny wanted it to happen.

_“Oh, what? You’re all about fate and destiny, except when it comes to love?”_

Lucy smirked at the irony of Wyatt’s words from what felt like a lifetime ago. _I guess fate had other plans for us_ , she thought ruefully, as she lay down on her side hugging her pillow and suddenly regretting being alone with her thoughts.

As the first tear began to pool in her eyes, there was a soft knock on her door. Lucy considered feigning sleep until the visitor went away, but the knocking repeated followed by a voice that still caused a warm feeling in her heart when it called her name.

“Lucy? Can I come in?”

 _Wyatt_. Lucy pulled herself upright and wiped her eyes completely unsure what she should do, but before she could begin to weigh out her possible options, she had stood up and opened the door.

He was leaning on his arm on the door jamb above head-level which made his body lean toward the door. His right hand was in the air obviously about to make another attempt at knocking, but he stood frozen just looking into Lucy’s eyes when she opened the door.

Wyatt lowered his hand and as the next few seconds of silence passed, Lucy swore he had stopped breathing as he stared at her as if he had just come back to life.

“Hi,” Lucy said as the silence threatened to linger interminably.

Wyatt finally took a breath and responded, “Hi. Can we talk?”

“Wyatt…”

“Please. It’s important,” he said pleadingly.

Lucy retreated into the room to allow him to step inside. Wyatt closed the door behind him and took a seat at the desk chair beside the door. Lucy sat on the far end of her cot with nearly the entire length of the room between them. Lucy looked him silently but moved her eyes slightly to invite him to start talking. She was biting her bottom lip to avoid saying anything that could possibly be interpreted as salty or impatient.

“Lucy,” he started nervously, “I lied yesterday when I told you that I still care about you.” He could see Lucy’s body react reflexively to his (poorly chosen) words, so he quickly tried again. “I mean… of course, I still care about you, but that wasn’t entirely true.”

Lucy stared at him with the same look in her eyes as when he told her she wasn’t hideous, but this time without a smile on her lips. Realizing this was going nowhere fast, and that Lucy was probably about thirty seconds from kicking him out of her room, Wyatt quickly changed tactics and decided to stop mincing words.

“Lucy, I love you.”

Lucy stared at him in stunned silence and then slowly shook her head. “No,” she said quietly, and then again slightly louder. “No, Wyatt. You can’t. You finally have what you’ve always wanted.”

“That’s the thing, Luce. I didn’t realize what I had until it was gone – until you were gone. I don’t just want to be your co-worker for ‘kicking ass and saving the world.’ I need us to be more than that, because that’s how you and I save the world. We trust each other. We saved each other, and that’s too important to throw away.”

Wyatt paused to gauge her reaction and was almost grateful that she was still silent. Perhaps that meant that she was actually listening, because from the multiple times that she kept insisting he was happily married yesterday, he knew that she hadn’t been seeing clearly. And neither was he, if he was honest with himself.

Lucy finally started to react to Wyatt’s confession, although slowly. “Wyatt, this isn’t how it’s supposed to happen. This is not what’s meant to be,” she said as she fought the tears that were threatening to form again.

A small smirk creeped across Wyatt’s face. “You know I don’t believe in ‘meant to be,’ though, or fate or anything like that.” He then let out a heavy sigh, and continued a bit more seriously, “And we know that Jessica’s return wasn’t fate. Rittenhouse changed history to make sure she came back, and I’m thankful that she didn’t die the horrible death that was my fault, but she did endure a terrible marriage with an absent alcoholic husband. I thought I could fix that for her – make things right by her, but I can’t be the husband she deserves when I’m in love with someone else. When I’m in love with the woman who made me a better man.”

Lucy closed her eyes and shook her head again as the tears finally began to fall down her cheeks. “No, Wyatt, I told you, I will not be that woman.”

In response to her tears, Wyatt immediately stood up to go to her, but remembering his place, he slowed his pace and sat down just within arm’s reach of Lucy. “I know, and I would never ask you to be that woman. I realized last night during our talk that a choice had to be made by me, and so I made it.”

Praying she didn’t recoil at his touch, he carefully placed his hand on her cheek and gently used the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear. Lucy looked up and stared into his blue eyes holding her breath as he continued.

“I told Jessica that I want to go through with the divorce.”

Lucy’s insides turned with more conflicting feelings than her mind could label. Guilt, relief, shock, and horror all came crashing down on her at once. The gravity of Wyatt’s news weighed her down, but yet she could almost see a bright light of hope trying to keep her afloat. Her knee jerk reaction was to protest, but protest what? She knew now that she was the one – the only one – who used the words “happy” and “love” to describe Wyatt’s second chance at marriage. Was it fair to Wyatt (or herself) to refute what he was telling her? What gave her the right to tell this man, who never liked talking about himself or his struggles, that although he was pouring his heart out to her, that he had it all wrong?

Lucy raised her hand to her cheek to grab his even though the tears continued to fall. She held his hand in her lap and ran her fingers over his. Had it really only been a few weeks since this hand had touched every inch of her body so tenderly and so naturally?

Finally, she found her voice again. “How can you be sure so soon? Jessica’s only been back a couple of weeks. Maybe you just need more time.”

Within a heartbeat, Wyatt replied, “Time is too precious to waste, and not just because we traverse decades in a matter of minutes on a regular basis.” He saw a hint of a smile flash on Lucy’s lips giving him the confidence to keep talking. “When you were missing for those six weeks, it felt like six years to me. I never gave up hope that you were alive, because I could still feel you in my heart, and I could hear your bossy, know-it-all voice in my head telling me to find you. And when I did, I was alive again. I was more alive than I had been in six actual years.”

Lucy looked him knowing that every word he said was true, because she had felt the same way, but her doubt returned. “But when you saw Jessica again, you must have felt the same way, right?” she asked unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.

“That’s the thing. It didn’t. I mean, I was grateful and relieved that she was safe and alive, but it wasn’t the same. I felt complete again when I saw you in that ammunitions tent. But ever since Jessica’s been back, I’ve felt… fractured, like the best part of me is lost.” Wyatt squeezed Lucy’s hand and looked into her tear-filled eyes before he continued. “I love Jessica, and I always will, but if history is the choices we make, then the history I want – the future I want – is with you.”

Lucy was certain that the look in her eyes as she stared back at Wyatt conveyed every ounce of love that he was saying in words. And she truly believed that under normal circumstances, upon hearing words like that, she would have lunged at him and kissed him endlessly. But their lives weren’t normal, and she had had the rug pulled out from under her before when it came to this man, so she maintained her distance and asked a practical question.

“So what happens to you and Jessica now?”

If Wyatt was disappointed with Lucy’s response, he didn’t show it. G _od knows I’ve put her through hell these past two weeks_ , he thought to himself. “Well, we’re worried about Rittenhouse finding her when she leaves the bunker, so for the time being, she’ll have to stay. When Agent Christopher gets back to the bunker, we’ll ask her about the possibility of getting her into a witness protection program so that she can have a chance to get her life back and move on.”

“Oh,” Lucy replied. “That makes sense.” Lucy realized that they were still holding hands and slowly pulled hers away under the pretense of wiping away her tears, which finally stopped falling, and brushing away her hair from her face.

Wyatt didn’t protest her release of his hand and retracted his as well. “Lucy, I want you to know, I came to you first with this news, because I wanted you to know… everything,” he added shyly. “But I don’t expect anything from you. I know that I didn’t handle any of this in the best way, and I can’t tell you how much I regret hurting you. I never wanted to do that, and I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath, and continued with a silent prayer of hopeful thinking, “I hope you can forgive me, and I hope that one day we’ll have the chance to try again and do it right next time.”

A grateful smile crossed Lucy’s face. “Maybe next time I won’t jinx it by saying that we have nowhere to go but down before we’ve had a chance to go on a first date.”

“That sounds like a deal, Ma’am.”

Lucy placed her hand on his scruffy cheek, and leaned over to give him a soft, but lingering kiss on his mouth. The smile on Wyatt’s face as she pulled away almost made her burst out laughing.

“What was that for?”, he asked still beaming.

“It was just a hint at the possibilities that lie before us.”

Before Wyatt could respond, a deafening alarm blared throughout the bunker signaling that the Mothership had jumped.

“Well at least Rittenhouse had the decency to let us get a kiss in,” Wyatt joked as the both stood up to exit the room and join the team.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally planned for this story to continue after the team returned from 1981, but I couldn't quite get the scene to work out. I also wanted to post this before episode 2x08 airs, and all of my speculative dialogue is once again moot.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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